Newest Candy Jokes - Page 5 - Worst Jokes Ever

What is a peados favourite time off year Halloween because they get free delivery

me: hey i have candy KID: right next to me can i have some Me: some of deez nuts

Kile: HEy asshole i bet you listen to trash 50cent how bout you get to quarters listen to him! My fav rapper is the best of all how bout you go eat a cracker you parrot nose fuck! remy: Im.. y-y.. YOUR DUMMER THAN ANT I BET YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER IS A CANDY RAPPER!!

What's an astronauts favorite candy? A Milky Way!

Q: What's a pedophiles favorite type of candy? A: Loli-pops.

I know this is a really bad poem but I'll do it anyway cuz I have nothing else to do.

Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and exedra. it goes on and on. But why wish for riches? Your already rich enough? If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!

Like I said, it's really bad. :(

Roses are red I have free candy get in my van I have free candy

i gave an orphan 5 dollars and i said "spend it on a candy bar" i came back 5 minutes later and he didn't have a candy bar. so i look over and i see that he has a piggy bank that has 40$ and i said where did you get that? he said for being homeless, and i said what are you going to spend it on he looked at me and said "i'm going to pay money for a mother."

What is the cheetah's favorite candy? Cheetos.

Warning:if u dont like gummy bears DO NOT READ

Q:what do you call a mexican gummy bear

A:Delici-Oso

How do mountains get big? They go trick our treating

Boy:"Mister can i get candy" Mister:No You shit head Boy:Why?:( Mister:Because i'm not your dad

The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and ask do i have any crack candy naw I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples all i have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich help yourself and while your at it clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere thank you mr toilet papers.

So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her can you stop smacking its annoying. Then she said I cant its a juicy type of candy. So I said, I can stop the candies from making that sound. Then she said how? So I smacked her. :)