What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss
Guy: why can't Jesus have M&M's priest: why? Guy: because they'll fall through the whole in his hands
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost? Harlem, New York.
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both
My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy" - One of the thousands of missing children
What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.
Well tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey
Kids are like a box of chocolates they taste so good and u never know what u are going to get
Question: Do you know who candis is? Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth
A Pedphile brings his Eight year old Daughter to the doctors office. The doctor asked her if she would like some Candy? Her father replies please no more candy for her i gave her enough today.
jack and jill went up the hill so jack could lick her candy but, jack had a shock and a mouth full of cock and jills real name was randy
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to. He says to the first one "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny" He says to the second one "You are addicted to food, you named you daughter Candy" Then the third one whispers to her son "Come on Dick, lets go."
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie ....... no one could tell that it was their blood
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it: Doctor: I have good news and bad news Guy" Whats the bad news Doc: They replaced your toe with a piece of candy Guy: Good news? Doc: You now have tic tac toe
Your forehead looks like the inside of a malteser
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, ̈Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! ̈ After that he joined the Army and learned to say, ̈Yes sir! ̈ After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, ̈Forks and knives, forks and knives! ̈ After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, ̈Goody-goody gumdrops! ̈ A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows: Policeman: Who killed the man? Foreign man: Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! Policeman: Did you kill the man? Foreign man: Yes sir! Policeman: What did you use to kill him: Foreign man: Forks and knives, forks and knives! Policeman: You ́re under arrest. Foreign man: Goody-goody gumdrops!
Last halloween i went dressed as a woman. When i rang the doorbell an elderly woman opened and i made grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands. She immediately called the police and told them excactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First he asked are your parents here and i said nothing. Concerned by my answer he then asked if i was ok so i said nothing. He asked me what my name and i responded, "Hellen Keller.
Pedophile: You dropped your candy. Girl: Thanks! Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy. Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one? Girl: How far is your house? Pedophile: Its that white one right over there. Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster? Pedophile: Yep its that one. Girl:.... Sure! :P Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes"
Whats a pedafiles favorite holiday Holloween free delivery
