Candy jokes
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)
A mom gave her son "the talk". Her son replies, "Wait, so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied."
What is the Titanic's favorite mint?
Icebreakers.
"Break me a piece of that Kit Kat bar."
Why does Jesus hate Skittles?
Because they fall through his hands.
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
What do incest families do on Halloween?
Pumpkin.
Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?
The Milky Way!
What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear.
What is the biggest candy in the world?
Candy Borobudur.
Why are the candy's clothes in the studio?
Because it's a wrapper.
Do you think Mars prefers Sour Orbiters sweet?
Orbiter: "Or bitter?"
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
Yo mama so dumb, she tried to put m&m's in alphabetical order.
What's the sun's favorite chocolate? Mars bar.
What kind of bear has no teeth?
A gummy bear.