Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.
What did the cancer patient get for Valentine's day? Candy wigs.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween? - nothing
Then: You want free candy? Now: You want free wi-fi?
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies she sneaks candy in her fat rolls.
Who make hard candy for the kids?
Solve.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? - Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.
