Can jokes
Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?
Because she can listen to call music.
I am in trouble. My mum asked me to get six cans of Sprite.
But I got seven Up.
Charger: Yo, Phone.
Phone: Yeah?
Charger: Can I plug all in you?
Phone: Ayooo!
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
If per capita is an issue, decapita can be arranged.
Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"
Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?
My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.
What do cannibals call an orphanage? All you can eat buffet.
Why can't orphans sleep? Nobody can tuck them in.
Can I get a Hoyah?
Can you dislike this!
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?
Rope: Hey buddy! Want to hang?
Me: Maybe I can hang later...
Cock: Can I have attention from your Dad now?
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
Name one person who would take an orphan?
Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.