For a present on christmas i gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button
Orphans around my area only watched Youtube Shorts. I asked them and then realized they can't click the home button.
What were the astronauts' last word before the shuttle blew up? what does this button do....
Joe mama so fat her belly button gets home an hour before she does.
wdid u know that stephon hawking deth was by accident because he pressed shut down instead of sleep mode
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-" me: power button
So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them.
Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem.
At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancée, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day.
While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that". So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made.
Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that!
Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.
Same thing goes when you are at bible study with a handsy priest.
If you don’t know how to braid hit that follow button let’s gooo
One day I went to talk to my friend. "Hi John!" I said. No response. "Oh yea." I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button. "Hope that helps."
Orphans maybe got phones, but they don't have a home button.
I bought an orphan iphone 8 plus and he said he doesn't want it koz it didn't have a HOME button
I saw a kid with no phone. I gave him a iphone 14.
except it had no home button.
How do you kill a Hindu? PRESS THE RED BUTTON.
I am not making a noose I am making a unsubscribe button for life.
Me: "gift a homeless kid iphone 7" The kid: but is has no home button Me: exactly 💀
I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!! Man: We have the power of the sun itself! President: Drop it on them! Man: You push the button President:*sigh* Fine give it to me Man: Hands over button President: Pushes it Both: YAAA! President: Bumps into the button pressing it again Both: Oh, sh*t
Meanwhile in japan after the first bomb went off Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again
To momma's so fat she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl
New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, cause they don’t need a home button
So there is this button there's a 50% chance you get a million dollars there's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle make them press the button and if they give the money you just push the orphan over take their money and run away because who they going to tell their parents.
