Button jokes

What feature does an orphan's phone not have?

A home button.

How do you make Indians explode? Press the red button.

Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.

Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.

How does a blonde turn the light off after sex?

She closes the car door.

I gave my friends some buttons.

Too bad he couldn't pull himself together.

When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."

Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?

Her boyfriend was blind too.