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But jokes

"SCOOT WANT TAXI!" Ok, maybe I do but can't make it there because yo mama is so fat he can't hear me on the other side.

So the fire alarm went off, but as soon as they walked out of the classroom, the only fire they saw was out of a gun.

Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)

Caller: "Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?"

Operator: "Yes, you can speak to me."

Caller: "No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!"

Operator: "You are talking to someone! Who is this?"

Caller: "I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent."

Operator: "I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?"

Caller: "Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital."

Operator: "Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious, but I don't have time for this!"

Caller: "You are so rude! Who are you?"

Operator: "I'm Saw Lee (Sorry)."

Caller: "Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!"

The bird was trying to cross the road because there was a church, but instead, the birds chirp chirp chirp, "Let's go to church!"

Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.

The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.

The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"

A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."

High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣

If you give a prostitute money, you will go to jail, but if you give a prostitute a Klondike bar, you will not go to jail. I would rather go to the casino and get more money for my buck.

If a heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from another heterosexual man at a glory hole, it's called a "brojob", but if a homophobic heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from a gay man at a glory hole, it's still called a "brojob". Does it cycle now?

A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel hanging down his pants.

A guy walks by and says, "Pardon me sir, but you've got a wheel hanging down your pants." The pirate responds, "I know. It's driving me nuts!"

Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker, but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister, so he got the family discount.

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    • A FedEx plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa, but the cargo door wasn't shut properly, and only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?

    Time's up! You took too long; you only had 4 seconds to answer it.

    How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?

    Open the fridge, put the elephant in, and close the door.

    How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?

    Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.

    Why did Sally fall off the swing?

    Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.

    How did she survive?

    Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off, but she was rescued 8 minutes later.

    Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.

    A husband and wife are crossing the street. The husband is explaining to the wife why you should always look both ways before crossing the street.

    Man: "So you see, Dolly? You should always look both ways before crossing the street."

    The man turns and looks to his wife, but she is not there!

    Man: "Dolly? Dolly!"

    The man looks around and sees Dolly laying dead on the street.

    Man: "Dolly!"

    Your grandmother died because she fell on the highest floor of the hotel. Your grandfather died because he got shot while saving your mother. If he didn't save your mother, you wouldn't be here.

    You grew up in a world full of viruses. You wanted the virus to be gone. There's only one way, but you have to know it. I can't tell it for you.

    Your mother got Covid-19. You prayed and prayed all night, hoping that she would be okay. The next day, the doctors went to your house without your mother. You asked, "Where is my mother?!" The doctors said, "Your mother is gone, so we came here to tell you." The doctors left. Another hour, you were thinking while crying, "Why was my prayer not working? Lord, why'd you let me down?"

    You searched on Google "How to bring back the dead." The Google workers declined it. Your father left you because he loved another girl. Your brothers are still with you, but what if they get the virus? Who will be with you?

    Don't forget Jesus is still there for you. Don't give up, keep going, and you will succeed soon. You will find your own family and beat the coronavirus.

    The streets go blank in the dead of the day, not a car to be seen.

    A kingdom of corona-cation, and it looks like mom's the queen.

    The wind is howling with this virus in the air.

    Couldn't keep it in China, everyone knows it's everywhere.

    Don't let friends in, don't be afraid.

    Be the good girl you always have to be.

    Conceal, don't feel your insanity, that the virus caused!

    Don't let it go! Don't let it go! You have to hold it back a little more! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Turn away and slam your doors!

    I don't care what the government says! Let me go to my friend's house.

    Sickness doesn't get to me anyway.

    It's funny how some distance makes everyone insane, and the fears that once controlled me are here and present, oh well!

    It's time to see what I can do to test the limits and break through!

    No right, no wrong, but stay inside!

    WE'RE NOT FREE!!

    Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Be one with the peace inside!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Watch sad movies and cry!! Here I stand!! And here I'll stay!! 'Cause I have nothing better to do.

    The virus flurries through the air into my house!

    The storm is spiraling, fear and fractals all around!!

    And one thought makes you wanna scream and shout out loud!!

    What if we never go back? What if the past is in the past????

    DON'T LET IT GO DON'T LET IT GO!! And you'll rise at the break of noon! DON'T LET IT GO DON'T LET IT GO!! That's morning girl is gone!! HERE I STAND IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT 'CAUSE THAT'S WHEN I WOKE UP!! Let the virus rage on!!!!!! The sickness never gets to me anyway. DING.

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