Bottle of Wine Jokes

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"

How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?

When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.

I rode to the bottle shop on my bike yesterday. I bought a whole bottle of wine and put it in the basket on the front of my bike. Then I thought, if I fell off my bike on the way back home, it would out and shatter. So I drank all the wine and threw away the bottle. It was a good idea, because I fell off my bike about four times on the way back.

Math riddle : If have 12 bottles of wine in one hand, and 9 in the other, what do i have

Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse replies saying "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart." The bartender responds saying "oh" sympathetically. "sucks to be you!" The bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.