Both jokes
The Twin Towers were like a woman stuck in the washer machine. They both got freed.
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
Memes
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
Dating a girl and studying mathematics, both give a headache.
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
What do nail polish and panties have in common?
Both come off with alcohol.
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
What do lesbians and mechanics have in common?
They both use strap on tools.
In a lesbian relationship, which feminazi cooks?
None, both carpet munchers eat out.