Both jokes

An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.

What's the difference between my arm and legs? Nothing. I slit both of them.

Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?

How are laundry and Michael Jackson related?

They both got bleached!

She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.

What’s the difference between a priest and target?

Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.

what do sloths and depressed people have in common? ... they both hang from trees.

A 28 year old woman, Olga, in Meshchovsk, Russia took justice into her own hands when a 32 year old male robber, Viktor, decided to rob her salon. She tied him, feeding him only Viagra, having sex with him over and over. After a few days, she released him after he stated he learned his lesson and wouldn't go to the police. He lied and went to the police anyways. Both were arrested.

After his sentence was over, Viktor sat down to speak to the local news. The reporter asked Viktor, "How was this whole ordeal?" Viktor replied, "I've had better."

Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.

They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."

"No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.

A hillbilly female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.

What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?

They have both had a few strokes.

what do baby’s and grenades have in common?

They both are silent but then when thrown at someone make a loud noise

How are you and an orphan similar?

Both of your fathers are invisible.

The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.

What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?

They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.

What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?

They both get a lot of crack.

What do strippers and butter have in common?

Both spread for bread.

What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?

They are both legless.

What does Micheal Jackson and a rock have in common?

They are both hard.

What's the difference between an emo and a banana?

They both hang like apples.