Both jokes
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
Memes
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
What do a school shooter and a lightbulb have in common? They both light up the classroom. π€‘π
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Trump and Biden didnβt get the memo.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common They both get laid by Mexicans
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
What does Michael Jackson and maths have in common? They're both hard for kids.
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
A blonde, redhead, and brunette are all sitting in a hospital's waiting room for ultrasounds.
After a while, the brunette giggles while rubbing her belly. Both the blonde and redhead look over at her and ask, "What's with the giggling?"
The brunette replies, "I'm having a boy!"
The blonde and the redhead ask, "How do you know?"
"Because he was on top!" The brunette replies again.
The three go back to conversing, and then the redhead starts to giggle while rubbing her belly.
"What's with the giggling?" The blonde and brunette ask.
"I'm having a girl!" The redhead replies.
"Well, how do you know?" The blonde and brunette ask again.
"I was on top!"
All of a sudden, the blonde bursts into tears.
"Oh, honey! What's wrong?" The redhead and brunette ask.
"I'm having puppies!"