"Bitch, I’m a cow, bitchhhhh."
Bitch: Nice eyebrows.
Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?
Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)
Roses are red, I reload fast...
I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!
Why do feminists eat so much pussy?
To get the taste of dick out of their mouths.
Does it cycle now, you stupid bitches?
What kind of experience does a feminist have?
Being a bitch.
What is the difference between a feminist and a female prostitute? If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
Tumblr people: "There are an infinite amount of genders."
The cannibal kid: "Bitch, please. There's just one gender: Food."
Me: Imagine not having hair.
Kids: On chemo.
Bitch the fuck.
Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.
Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!
Damn, bitch, you got a big ass for a head!
When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"
I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."
So, I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said, "Yes ma'am." She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said, "Okay, thanks bitch."
You work at Papa's Pizzeria, ok?
Boss: You're fired!
Me: Ok?
Worker: Why are you fired?
Me: Oh, you wanna know...
*shows him the oven with my pizza*
Me: I left my pizza in the oven, that bitch burnt as fuck!!
Worker: OH SHIT!!
Boss: Did you say pizza?
Me: I sure did!
*shows boss pizza in oven*
Me: This hoe black as fuck!
Boss: I fired you because I can't stop looking at your ass, not this why?
I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, But he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch
Ah, what's that on your face? Oh, I forgot, that is your ass. It's so ugly, you stupid-looking bitch!
Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.
Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?
What did the female dog say to the mirror?
Hi, bitch!
Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."
Maude of ghostposter is a dumb Christian pussy-ass bitch. She's so fucking squeamish it's hilarious, although I hate her.
