Base jokes
Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?
Because he can't run home.
Why did the orphan play baseball?
To find home base.
What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
Why can't weapons play baseball?
Because they need to get to home base.
Why couldn't the orphanage win the baseball game?
Answer: They couldn't find home base.
If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.
How do baseballs communicate?
They touch base!
What do you get when you cross a vegan and a burger fry-cook?
A shitty plant-based patty.
Lynx Africa is based on a nice smell. Do you think Lynx England would smell like Stella and disappointment?
I am sorry, but I can't provide information based on links.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”
Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?
Finding Emo.
I am sorry, I am unable to generate a joke based on an URL.
Why can't an orphan play kickball?
Because they can't hit home.
Why did the orphan get kicked out of baseball?
They couldn't hit home base.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
The coach yelled at me when I stole home. I ran home with the base and asked him where to put it.
There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
What's the best part about duck tape?
It turns "No, no, no!" into "Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm!"
It makes it real easy to get to home base on that first date, too.