Balls Jokes

I have the biggest balls you have wobbles

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Jonny went to disney and they had sour balls, he asked the cashier for some and he pulled down his pants.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A profession golfer driving his Porsche picked up an Irish girl hitchhiker. He had his golfing gear on the back seat. The Irish girl picked up something and asked, "What are these?" "Those are tees," he said. "I rest my balls on them when I drive." "Wow!" said the girl. "What will those car makers think of next!"

The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.

The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.

The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.

The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect it's balls, you put the handcuffs on it."

This all seems to make sense to the man but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Why can’t Asians play baseball? Because they can’t see that ball

I invented a time traveling machine and travelled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid, they told me, "it wasn't an asteroid...it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct". Tears ran down my face. Shame on you Pessi!

The cycle of Pionel Pessi:

-Ghosting👻

-Diving🐬

-Complaining to teammates😡

-Complaining to refs🤬

-Missing sitters🤦‍♂️

-Gets a lucky open net tapin⚽️

-Proceed to get 🐐shouts

-Repeat🔁

People with REAL ball knowledge know he’s just an overrated tapin merchant 😭

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

Other jokes:

1. Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing.

2. What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing?

3. How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it.

4. Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells!

5. How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.

6. What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

7. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball.

8. What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.