B.A.L.L.S. jokes
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.
What would a gay man do for free that a heterosexual woman that is a whore won't do for $50.00 for a heterosexual man?
Suck his balls.
I kick a soccer ball at someone in a wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
My BALLS itched when I crashed the plane.
What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.
Why did the knights laugh when they run?
The grass tickled their balls. 😅😂🤣
Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Uriah. Uriah who? Keep Uriah on the ball, Laquon Treadwell!
What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?
If you throw them, they both will never come back.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.
Then it hit me.
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eyed deer.
What do u call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eyed deer.
What do u call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls? Still no f*#$in eyed deer.
What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?
A penis always goes in the hole.
What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.
What did the orphan say to the bowling ball?
"I am orphan!"
"You are bowling ball!"
"Balls" got me like: 😂