B.A.L.L.S. jokes

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.

3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.

6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.

8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.

9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).

12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.

16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

I love balls, bro. So do you.

I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.

Femboys are looking kinda tasty for a date, especially the dick and their balls.

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Olgh..."

Yo momma's so gay, you sucked her balls.

Can I put my baaaaalls in yo jaaaaaaws?

What do you say when going for a dunk in basketball?

"Kobe crash!"

A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."

What’s the difference between bowling balls and babies?

You can unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "I gagged."

Why does a very tall man allow dwarfs to take turns to suck his balls?

Because he is nuts about them!

Why can't gay people play Baseball? They can't throw the ball straight.

What's the difference between a baby and a ball?

If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.

A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"

The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"

Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

They can't find home base.

Yo mama so FAT...

That when she had sex with you...

Your balls turned to pancakes.

I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.