B.A.L.L.S. jokes
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
I have more respect for cancer than depression, because cancer has the balls to kill me himself.
What do you call a boy Panera Bread?
Panera Balls.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A dragon.
A dragon who?
The dragon gonna drag its balls across your face.
I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!
What's the difference between a baby and a ball?
If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
Gock gock gock ghghghkghlhglhglhk.
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
My friend died from Ligma!
Ligma balls.
Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?
Draggin' these balls across your face.
So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"
This pastor decided to skip church one Sunday morning and go play golf.
He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.
He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried it an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.
An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"
A professional golfer driving his Porsche picked up an Irish girl hitchhiker. He had his golfing gear on the back seat. The Irish girl picked up something and asked, "What are these?"
"Those are tees," he said. "I rest my balls on them when I drive."
"Wow!" said the girl. "What will those car makers think of next!"
Segma says, "32!"
Ligma Says, "And?"
Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? She gagged and moaned.
I got hit in the balls by a tennis ball.
What kind of ball does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.
I wondered why the ball was getting bigger... then it hit me.
Penis and balls.