sso i was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids table i stood up and i threw a opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled. "25 kill streak" 🤣😂
I'm not saying you're stupid. But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, Do not place over head"
Orphans and punching bags are almost the same. They get both Hit but punching bag is still wanted
Robber 1: *gets shot in ass* Robber 2: you have to shit in a bag for life lol Robber 1: what, the Tesco or Asda one?
me: *opens a bag of hot cheetos in class*- all my friends: hey bro can i have sum- people i dont know: Pleaze lemme have some PLEAZE i'll be your best friend- people i say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen it's only people who are skinny but the fat people can't have none all they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
i was having a party in my basement and my friend asked me what that bag cover in blood was for and i said oh thats the bag i catch the children with to torture them in this basement
He placed the chocolates and the flowers down beside her...
Silence...
And then at last she spoke...
"Unexpected item in the bagging area."
Son, you are not precious so pack your bags because someone else is going to adopt you
Dad, what do you mean someone else will adopt me
Son, your adopted
Eric's mom asked to his son why his bag is heavy and if it is because of books. Eric replied "No, magazines"
Teacher: your bag is heavy what's in there!
Weird Kid: Magazines
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says "Bartender, I want to buy that douche bag a drink". The bartender says "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!". The drunk says "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink". The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?". She says "Vinegar and water"
my mom said to take out the trash bags so i did and the next day my mom asked "where are your sisters?" i said "in line to get crushed"
Why can't orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because they're family size.
There were 2 guys in an asylum. One name Kenny and the other is Bob. The nurse went down the hall and saw Kenny act like he was packing his bags. Nurse said “What are you doin Kenny?” Kenny said “Going to Florida for the week.” Nurse said “Alright see ya when you get back.” Next day Nurse went down the hall again and saw Kenny laying down acting like he was holding a wine glass. Nurse said “What are you doing Kenny?” Kenny said “I am at the beach” Nurse said “Oh I forgot your in Florida for the week, see ya when you get back” Bob’s room was across the hall. Nurse went further down the hall and saw Bob on his bed jerking off. Nurse said “Goddamnit Bob what are you doing?” Bob said “Shhh, I am fucking Kenny’s wife right now, he is in Florida for the week”
what do a bag of chips and a gun have in common? when you pull either one out in class everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
when a kinderX=MsgBox("you do not have permission to delete this item",2+64,"error")the abcsgarten teacher askes a kid to sing alphabet he said ab3defg teacher said do you like 3d he said yeah teacher yelled ok do you have a3ds yeah he said teacher goes ito his bag and sais say abcs or your 3ds will be destroyed he says ab3defghijlmnopqrs oh he learned well the teacher thrw the 3ds out the window the kid gets it and it still wirks then he googles abcs it goes to youtube and says abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz teacher is proud of the 3ds the class went home tekll ing pa
Chuck Norris one put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.
So Dora is having a sleepover with her cousin Diego at Dora's house. So later that night Dora's mom hears someone screaming go Diego go for at least a couple of minutes and then it stops and goes back to sleep. But then hears the same thing a couple minutes later and walks in and hears go Diego go so she walks over to Diego's sleeping bag a looks and it's empty so she walks over to Dora's sleeping bag and looks in and See's Dora getting f..... By Diego and hears Dora saying go Diego go while moaning.
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail-mix. I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut
