Bad jokes
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)
That's it, it wasn't a joke.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
She keeps on running from the ball.
Man, your hairline is so bad it started from the beginning of the month to the end!
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
What is black, smells bad, and long? Line to social services.
Your hairline is so bad even Ariana Grande stopped singing because of it.
My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"
Your hairline is so bad, it goes back in time!
Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
You're so bad at games, bro, they gave you AIDS before losing! 😹
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
Say my name if you like "Breaking Bad."
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."