Bad jokes
Teacher: Stand up if you think you are stupid.
After a while, a student stands up.
Teacher: So you think you are stupid?
Student: No, I'm not stupid. I just felt bad because you were standing by yourself.
So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."
This joke is so bad I don't even know what I wrote at this point.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.
I'm so friking dumb, even I need Joe Mama so fricking bad.
Why did Hitler's cookies taste bad? He forgot to clean out the oven.
How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? "Then why won't you slap my face, because I'm bad?"
Yo momma's armpits stink so bad she made Right Guard turn to left.
Why are lesbians so bad at math? They can't multiply.
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
Why are Asians so bad at baseball? ... Because they ate the bat!
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
Because no one is there for them to pass [the ball].
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class and I said, "Man, they are really bad at Jenga!"
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost 2 towers.
My pencil sharpener when I bleed:
And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.