My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearimg them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way it made the funeral a bit awkward.
When your crush walks in class but youre homeschooled...
"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."
"What was your first impression on him?"
"I told him, she calls me daddy too."
That one awkward moment you have to go ask your Chinese neighbor if they've seen your dog.
They say masterbation is better with a dead arm
Apparently I ruined that funeral
Most states:
"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."
Alabama:
"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."
My uncle and I have some what of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.
That one awkward moment you try to relate to batman by killing your parents.
That awkward moment when your checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there’s somebody inside
My friend was pissed of with me. I was sniffing his sisters knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward
what con you say both at a funeral and during sex???
this whould be much better if you where alive
I tried phone sex once. But the holes were too small.
A lady weightlifter goes to the doctor and says "doctor I have a confession". The doctor asks "what is that?" She replies, "I've been using steroids and....I think I've grown a penis". The doctor looks at her and asks "anabolic?" There's an awkward silence then she replies "no, just a penis".
an emo tried to give me a high five... I left him hanging
Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.
Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
Man: Your hair color is fabulous. Woman: Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.
Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Go back to sleep.
Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you to leave.
Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop.
Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
Man: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Woman: I hate you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing Pin the tail on the donkey? Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.
1 time i went to high five some one ive been left hanging ever since
That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”
A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment she starts to roll over, and in the process she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her. Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
