Aviation jokes

All these jokes are all plane.

Yo hairline so large, you could land a fighter jet on it.

"Hey, look, that plane is getting bigge-"

Did you leave your hairline at the airplane, because it's going up?

What mistake did the manager of the Twin Towers make?

He replaced all the window cleaners with 2 commercial jets.

I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.

A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.

"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"

My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.

"September 11th plane driving classes for free."

I would say a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't land well.

If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?

A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.

What do birds and planes have in common?

They both fly into building windows.

If seagulls fly over the sea, what flies over the bay?

Bagels.

Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?

Women were flying the plane.

A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.

When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.

"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.

Q: If a boat could fly, where would it go?

A: An airport.

Why did the chicken cross the towers?

Because he ordered a plane pizza and didn’t get to the other side.

Is that a bird? Is that a plane? It's a plane!

Were Japanese suicide bombers taught to fly, or was it just a quick crash course?

You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.