Aviation jokes
If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?
A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.
Why did the plane crash in the ocean? Because the pilot saw steward Undercut!
I wonder why the plane got bigger and bigger, then it hit me.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like youβre not going to make it to your destination in time, so Iβm going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I donβt really want to go to the event anymore.
Memes
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
What was the weather forecast when the planes hit the World Trade Center? Partly cloudy with scattered passengers!
What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane?
A biplane.
Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1! #justice
If seagulls fly over the sea, what flies over the bay?
Bagels.
Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?
Women were flying the plane.
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammoβunless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
Q: If a boat could fly, where would it go?
A: An airport.
Is that a bird? Is that a plane? It's a plane!
Why did the chicken cross the towers?
Because he ordered a plane pizza and didnβt get to the other side.
You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
Were Japanese suicide bombers taught to fly, or was it just a quick crash course?
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
I caught a cold, Mary Earp caught the ball, what did the towers catch? The plane.
Why were the Twin Towers afraid of the New York Jets?
Because they are afraid of the jet.