Autistic jokes
Karens yell, I scream, my mum fucks me.
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
When the autistic kid brings a gun to school and thinks it’s a dart gun.
An autistic kid hit me, so I kicked him back and he died.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
People named Joey are autistic and need to die fatty.
What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
You're walking into a bar and you see 2 younger kids around 18. You call the manager to have them removed, but no one came down.
Later that night, you see the 2 18-year-olds, 1 was a girl and the other was a boy, so you call the manager down. No one came again. You confront them and tell them to leave, but one turns around and hits you. You are knocked out on the floor. When you wake up, there is a hard feeling in your a**. You turn your head around and there is an autistic girl with a strap-on in your a** going full on hard.
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.
The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."
I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "Autistic Child Zone." Then I thought to myself, "Oh shit, that wasn't a dog!"