Ass Jokes

I hope you never find out whether that pressure in your ass is a fart or a shit.

"Clap clap clap that ass, bitch, shake that cameltoe, let them see them pussy lips!"

Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.

The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.

I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!

What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?

The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.

Little Jonny Bad Ass was sitting on a porch one day, and a preacher was in the house. Little Jonny Bad Ass had to use the bathroom, so he bangs on the door saying, "Mom, I have to use the bathroom!" His mom says wait. So Little Jonny Bad Ass saw a hat on the step. He looks around, pulls his pants down, and shits in the hat.

A few later, the preacher comes out and says, "I see you have my hat!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Yeah, I caught the world's fastest bird!" The preacher says, "Well, let me see him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "No, I don't know." Well, the preacher says, "I'll put my hands by the hat, you lift, and I'll catch him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass lifted the hat and the preacher clapped his hands, and Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Now see the bird don't shit," and ran.

Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.

"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"

This is not even a joke, it's a serious question... Is eating ass considered cannibalism?

Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a dinosaur?

You'll get jur ass kicked.

Sonic Boom in my ass.

Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.

Is that ass a water barrier 'cause dam[n]?

*JMC*

ANOMALY-931

"Gwen"

Identification: just a stupid animal, with a big ass heart.

The girl in the picture has no ass.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair playing soccer?

Rocket League!

(Ali A Intro)

I like men.

Wanna smash?

Suck my balls.

I'm in class as I'm posting this ass joke.

This joke sucks terribly.

Honestly just like and leave.

Add me on discord.

IceyTrae#2230

Lebron>MJ

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.

Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?

Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.

What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?

Filipino.

What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?

Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.