Ares jokes
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In every step you take, My support stays true.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, When life gets tough, I'll stand by you.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, With every beat of my heart, I'm devoted to you.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your eyes' reflection, My dreams come true.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Like petals in the wind, My heart dances for you.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your laughter's melody, Makes my world anew.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.
My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!
Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!
Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?
Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”
He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.
EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
WebMD: Cancer.
There are 3 Genders.
1: Man
2: Woman
3: Mentally ill.
Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day.
Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first.
Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am.
Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet.
Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you.
Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you.
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down.
Most restaurants are closed at night, but your legs aren’t.
I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out.
Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight.
Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall.
I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but I hope it’s you.
Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream.
Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you.
Do you sing in the shower? Because if so, I need a private ticket of your concert.
Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between.
Are you a blanket? Because you’re on top of me every night.
Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7.
Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream.
I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not.
Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down.
Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up.
Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.
Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!
Roses are red, violets are blue, You told me I'm ugly, nah, you look like a monkey!
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?
Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).