Ares jokes
Why are orphans so fond of shadows?
They're the only thing that accompanies them always.
Mickey: I want a divorce!
Minney: Are you fricking crazy?
Mickey: No, I'm fricking Daisy!
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
Twin Towers are mad. Instead of hotdogs, they got "plain."
"Your mum has very small balls. Congrats! I told her, your balls are bigger than your husband's."
Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought you can mix too.
Why are orphans so successful?
When they were told to go big or go home, they only had one option.
Why are fat people fat? Because they eat like Indians eating curry, except fat people eat many more portions.
My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off!
I was at the orphan place, and I saw a kid crying. And I asked him where his parents are, and he fainted.
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because the parents are in every episode.
COP: Are you high?
ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*
COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.
Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend.
Friend: Wow thanks, I'm rich!
Robin [narrows eyes]: You're what?
Are you free tomorrow?
No, I’m expensive, sorry. 💵💸
I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"
If you’re having a bad day, just punch an orphan.
Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
Like if you have a dick, or you are an orphan.
What do you do when you're sad?
Nothing, because you are just crying about something happening to you.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.