Apple jokes
3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?
Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!
Why were the apple and orange all alone? Because the banana "split."
I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.
Interfischl
Happy
Apple
Tea
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
Me: Hey, apple.
Apple: What?
Me: Knife.
Apple: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
My Grandma, like any other, got an APPLE IPHONE 12, but as we all know, we get dumb, and so we buy a phone. My grandma did not even know how to use it. She even said, "How do I go on Google?" I told her, "YOU CAN'T!" My grandma was, like, "Yeah right, how do I do it?"
Comment down below, does your grandma do this?
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Orange you glad I didn't say apple again?
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple got picked.
What do you get when you combine a planet and an apple?
Mario.
What does iCloud eat for lunch?
Your documents.
What did the butt say to the other butt? "I got big fat apples for butt checks!"
What did the corn say to the flying apple?
"That's corny."
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
What do depressed people and Apple's have in common?
They both hang from trees.