My diet:
Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
There was a dude. He had a mondo dong.
His wife was like, "Yo, where are your balls?"
The dude says he left them in the fridge. His wife replies, "I knew those meatballs tasted weird!"
What did the chef say to the skeleton?
"Bone appetit!"
What did the skeleton say after dinner?
Bon appétit!
Why did 1 eat 2?
'Cause he was hungry.
I’ve never had Indonesian food. Huh...
Neither have they.(:
How to stop bullying?
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens didn't exist then.
Does anyone else like Tacos? C'mon let's Taco 'bout it!!! :p Hey, Tacos are made of atoms too......
Why did the girl not eat her dinner?
because she has an eating disorder.
So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"
Did you hear about the tomato and the lettuce race?
Well, the lettuce was ahead, and the tomato was trying to ketchup!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
What do you call an appetite including apples? Appletite.
I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might drum up an appetite!
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
Yo mama so fat that Hannibal Lecter couldn't eat her up.
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
