Me: Your ugly...
Person: I'm not your mirror...
Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p
Long hair Danny, the fanny.
Why doesn't Laila in UHS need an insult?
Have a look at her face!
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer can't explore it!
Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂
Your forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.
I used to have a girlfriend who would argue with me a lot for no reason. I look at her feet and say to her, "Here is £15, give yourself a foot pedicure, then come back to me. It clearly shows you have man feet. You are a woman; you should have woman feet. No wonder you boss me around too much as if you're the man of the house."
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the Flash stop dead in his tracks.
Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.
Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.
Your forehead is so big, your face is on your chin.
The more they smile, the less they see.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.
I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"
Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.
I used to know a guy from a nudist colony.
Man, I tell you, nothing looked good on him!
The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.
So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"
