Appearance

Appearance jokes

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Hairline

  • Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."

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  • Weight

  • I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.

  • 2
  • Mama

  • Yo mama so ugly, she got a lifetime ban from KFC for ordering too many burgers.

  • 2
  • Tsunami

  • Husband: My wife and I went to the beach today.

    Husband: She was wearing a blue wetsuit.

    Husband: The second we entered the beach,

    Pedestrians: "TSUNAMI! TSUNAMI!"

  • 1
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    Mom

  • Mom: That's why your dad left you.

    Me: Why?

    Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.

    Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!

    Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!

    (This actually did happen in real life.)

  • 3
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