They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
Apparent Jokes
My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...
Apparently, rock bottom has a basement.... :\
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
I recently got kicked out of a casino because I apparently misunderstood what the craps table was for.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stranger.
Stranger who?
Stranger, why are you in my house masticating my apparent dead wife?
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
Did you hear about the new doggy condos?
Apparently they are now releasing!
The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
Apparently Steven Hawking was a stand-up kind of guy.
Q: Did you hear about the Twin Towers?
A: No, what happened?
Q: Apparently, the design was fundamentally floored!
Apparently, I'm a category for jokes now. Hmm... ok!
#HOMIEZ4Life
P.S. Say "crack my finger," now say it backwards :)
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
Apparently, describing the beautiful city of Hiroshima as "The bomb" is not okay.
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me, "Yeah, I can read braille." So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read, "Screw you, asshole."
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
