How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stranger.
Stranger who?
Stranger, why are you in my house masticating my apparent dead wife?
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
Did you hear about the new doggy condos?
Apparently they are now releasing!
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
Apparently Steven Hawking was a stand-up kind of guy.
Q: Did you hear about the Twin Towers? A: No, what happened? Q: Apparently, the design was fundamentally floored!
apparently imma category for jokes now. hmm... ok! #HOMIEZ4Life
P.S. Say "crack my finger", now say it backwords:)
What is it called when u whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
Apparently, describing the beautiful city of Hiroshima as "The bomb" is not okay.
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me, "Yeah, I can read braille." So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read, "Screw you, asshole."
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."
So apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
Apparently, Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
