ANS jokes

Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.

Yo mama is so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.

Me: You know your parents were very good people.

Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.

Me: I know, you're an orphan.

I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...

Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.

Why does an orphan go to church?

So they can call someone "father."

What do you call an orphan's family photo?

A self-portrait.

As an orphan, every bag of chips is family size.

At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.

Why does an orphan cry when we say "ur mom?"

Because they have no mom.

Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?

Because it had no home button.

Why is an orphan like a boomerang? Because they always come back.

What is something an orphan's phone does not have?

Home buttons.

If there's ever a shooting at school, pull out an Uno reverse card.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family photo.

Why are there only 362 days in an orphan's calendar? They don’t have Father's Day, Mother's Day, or Family Day.

What do you call a kid that lives alone?

An orphan. ;)

What do you call it when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.

I asked an orphan where his parents were. Then I remembered, they're gone.

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?