ANS jokes
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.
What does an orphan and a female's mouth have in common?
They take in 100's of kids.
Why is it so easy to roast an orphan?
What are they gonna do, run home and tell their parents?
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
"PENIS WAIT WHAT OENIS SUCK MINE DADDY?" Sorry, you are an orphan.
Ask an orphan this: "What's the difference between cancer and your dad? Cancer comes back!"
What is missing when an orphan buys a laptop?
The home screen.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What's the difference between an orphan's dad and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back.
When does a kid become an orphan?
When the parents leave.
What's an orphan's dream job?
A builder, to build themselves a home.
I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.
Somebody give me a peanut. I just ate an EpiPen.
What egg do you buy an orphan?
Free range.
What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?
HomeGoods ;)
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.
The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.