ANS jokes
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Sometimes I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.
What’s the only other advantage of being an orphan?
The teacher can’t give you homework.
What do you call an Indian person who is not starving? Dead.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess.
His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole.
His best friend is a pussy.
And his owner beats him.
What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?
While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
One day, there were two muffins in an oven. One of the muffins said, "Man, it's hot in here." The other one said, "Oh my god! A talking muffin!!!"
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
Why did the rapper become an electrician?
Because he wanted to SHOCK the audience with his RHYMES.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?... One always gets picked.
Don't ever try to give an emo kid a high five. They'll just leave you hanging.
What is an orphan's least favorite show?
"Fuller House."
Why did an Indian cross the road?
To take a shit.
What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?
Nothing, they both hang.
What to do when you're bored? Punch an orphan in the face. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
The past, the present, and the future were having an argument. It was tense.
Why is it good to be an orphan?
Because every bag of chips is family sized.