ANS jokes

Who does an orphan play soccer with?

No one.

The parents used to hit him.

His parents got into a car crash and died.

He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"

An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.

The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"

And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.

So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...

Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.

What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?

HomeGoods ;)

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

If you punch an orphan, they can't do anything; they can't tell their parents.

Look! An ancient African city!

From the makers of Timbukone...

Why can't an orphan go to college?

He needs a parent signature.

Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!

Whenever you see an orphan taking a selfie, photo bomb him and say, "Family photo!"

So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"

Why can't he say that?

Answer: He works at an orphanage.

What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.

You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

It doesn't know where home is.

My teacher said, "Say welcome to our new student; he's an orphan." The teacher said, "Is anyone missing?" I said, "That kid's parents."

A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"

If you're ever bored, just slap an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

What’s an orphan's favorite game?

Catch.

What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?

"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"