ANS jokes
I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.
What is a woman doing with an empty sheet?
Reading her rights!
Why can’t an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because it was family size.
What's the difference between a baseball game and an orphan?
There's a home to go back to.
Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?
Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.
What's missing in an orphanage computer?
"The motherboard."
Why is it ok to hit an orphan?
Because they can't call their parents.
Why does an orphan go to church?
So they can call someone "father."
What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.
What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.
I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.
The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.
LMAO, what is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other's just a watermelon.
What do you call an Asian receptionist?
Tai Ping.
I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.
How do you call a virgin girl in Alabama? An orphan.
What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?
"Let us pray."
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
What's the difference between you and an orphan?
Nothing.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.