ANS jokes
What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-lievable!
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?
Me time.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
What does an emo kid say to his best friend?
"Let's hang out."
I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!
What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?
The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What movie does an orphan hate?
"Spider-Man: Far From Home."
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in some laundry...
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.
What's an emo's favorite time of year?
Fall.