ANS jokes
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
What's red, takes my belt, and what I got from a weird children's house?
An orphan.
Maishah, the poo comes from an old bathroom in a country starting with B.
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
An alien goes to Area 51, but I wonder why he doesn't go to your house?
A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!
What time is it when dogs are an appointment? Time to scream!
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼
What has two left legs 🦵 but can’t walk? An airport.
What do you call an orphan?
A bootysnagger45.
You're an apple. Now suck my dick!
What do you call an egg murder?
An eggs-terminator!
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
Say "beans" fast three times.
Now you’re an idiot.
At an school 🏫 what is your school's name?
What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?
A plane wingless.
Last night I burned down an orphanage.
There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
Q: If an electric train heads south, which way does the steam go?
A: No steam.
A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.
The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.