ANS jokes
What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
Why does an orphan not play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
What instrument can a skeleton not play? An organ!
What instrument can a skeleton play? A Trombone!
Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"
Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."
Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.
You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?
We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home! 😂🤣
My son said he burnt food on accident, so I told him he was an accident.
Whenever you wanna roast an orphan, say "yo mamma".
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
Why is your nan gay? Because she's an orphan.
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.
Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?
Then there is me: My life.
What’s an orphan’s favorite Netflix show?
Fuller House.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know what home is.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white, and secondly, they both get turned on by kids.
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Tennis because it's the only love they'll get.
Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"