ANS jokes
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"
Americans are so fat that they named an atom bomb "Fat Man" to describe themselves.
Why can’t an orphan celebrate Father’s Day and Mother’s Day? Because they have no parents.
What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.
Why can't an orphan play Family Feud? Because it has to have a family.
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
Why does an orphan not play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
What instrument can a skeleton not play? An organ!
What instrument can a skeleton play? A Trombone!
Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"
Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."
Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.
You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?
We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home! 😂🤣
My son said he burnt food on accident, so I told him he was an accident.
Whenever you wanna roast an orphan, say "yo mamma".
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
Why is your nan gay? Because she's an orphan.
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.
Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?
Then there is me: My life.