ANS jokes

Cop

    • A cop pulls over an old man.

    The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

    The old man said, "No."

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    • Name

    • Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)

    Caller: "Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?"

    Operator: "Yes, you can speak to me."

    Caller: "No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!"

    Operator: "You are talking to someone! Who is this?"

    Caller: "I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent."

    Operator: "I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?"

    Caller: "Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital."

    Operator: "Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious, but I don't have time for this!"

    Caller: "You are so rude! Who are you?"

    Operator: "I'm Saw Lee (Sorry)."

    Caller: "Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!"

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    • Comedian

    • My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...

    History

    • I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.

    Hell

    • Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.

    American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"

    Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"

    German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"

  • 4

    • Priest

    • How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.

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    • Sodomy

    • Heterosexual sodomy is like religion. If you were forced to accept it when you were younger, you probably would not like it when you become an adult.

  • 0

    • Circumcision

    • Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.

  • 3

    • Blowjob

    • Why does a married heterosexual man want an anonymous blowjob at a glory hole inside an adult bookstore?

    Because he doesn't want his wife to find out that he got a blowjob from another man.

  • 0

    • Fridge

    • A FedEx plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa, but the cargo door wasn't shut properly, and only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?

    Time's up! You took too long; you only had 4 seconds to answer it.

    How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?

    Open the fridge, put the elephant in, and close the door.

    How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?

    Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.

    Why did Sally fall off the swing?

    Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.

    How did she survive?

    Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off, but she was rescued 8 minutes later.

  • 0

    • Model

    • I'm a Model. My doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram.

    (Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts

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