ANS jokes

Why is an orphan really good at being naughty?

Because they have no one to tell them off.

Why is an orphan good at being naughty?

Because they don't have no one to tell them off.

Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.

Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."

  • 3
  • A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."

    The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"

    My teacher said, "Say welcome to our new student; he's an orphan." The teacher said, "Is anyone missing?" I said, "That kid's parents."

    How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period?

    She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!

  • 5
  • So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.

    So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”

    The principal's office smells nice.