ANS jokes
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Fletcher is not a lesbian. He is also not an Asian. He is also definitely not an accident.
Why can't an orphan play baseball or softball?
They can't find home. 🤣
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.
There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.
They always make me cry.
It is now legal to bully an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Spider-Man: Homecoming."
Clowns were doing an egg contest, and one clown had their egg crack, and another clown said, "The yoke's on you!"
Q: Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for their birthday?
A: 'Cause it don't have a home button.
What time is it when a rooster sits on a fence? Morning.
What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? Time to get a new fence.
What time is it when a lawyer sits on the fence? Time for an elephant to sit on the fence.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Just to an orphan.
Orphan: You're stupid.
You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.
Do not tell an orphan family meeting; they wouldn't get it.
What do you call an owl with armor?
A Knight Owl!
So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan because what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."