ANS jokes
Want to know what I do in my freetime?
Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
My birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
If per capita is an issue, decapita can be arranged.
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?
A: They both come in a little behind.
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked.
Mom! Mom! My classmates called me an orphan!
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
An anti-bullying PSA and speeding PSA from the same creator meet one another.
The death toll went sky high.
What is an orphan's family reunion called?
Me time.
Being an orphan isn’t all bad.
On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
The difference between an apple and an orphan is that the apple gets picked.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?
Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.
I am an orphan...
Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?
Parental Login: __________