ANS jokes
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
What do you call a once that's an insect?
A creepy crawly.
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
What's the difference between emo people and normal people? Normal people have wrists.
If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
There was a house with a three-story building.
The first one had Mexicans.
The second one had Africans.
The third one had white people.
An earthquake came.
But who did survive?
The white family because they were at work.
What can't an orphan spell?
Home.
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?
I'm going to bomb a little child (I'm an USA bomber).
How much curry can an Indian eat? Until his red dot explodes.
What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?
"I don’t have a mama."
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
Why can't an orphan have an iPad?
They can't find the home button.
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."
Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"
What do you call an idiot who needs to get a life?
The Stigg.
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!