ANS jokes

What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?

One of them has someone to mourn them.

I'm an orphan, lol.

One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"

Why can't an orphan play football? Because they can't find home or return it.

What do you call an orphanage?

A parent-less shelter/homeless shelter.

Why is an orphan into worshiping Satan?

'Cause they get to call someone "master" and be freaky.

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: I don't know why.

Man: Because they have a family plan.

Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.

There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.

The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"

A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.

Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.

The French: "But how did you do it?"

The Italian: "I killed one."

The German: "So what?"

The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"

I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."

If you kill an emo, Is it an assist kill?

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

They don't know where home is.

Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.

Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.

Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?

A: They're both cheesy.

What do you call an Indian plane that comes back?

A Boomerang.

This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."

What do you call an Indian electrician?

Ashok 😂

I built a website for an orphanage, but it had no homepage.