ANS jokes
What movie does an orphan hate?
- No Way Home.
What does an orphan call a family portrait?
A selfie.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
Why is it so easy to roast an orphan?
What are they gonna do, run home and tell their parents?
My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.
(If you see this joke with a blue "S" that's also me. I just have an acc now.)
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
"I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."
"What type of book is it?"
"An autobiography."
Why can't an orphan read?
He couldn't go to school without a parent's signature.
What's the difference between an orphan and a toy?
One is played with.
What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One is loved.
What's the difference between me and an orphan's parents?
I actually come back with the milk.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One's actually picked.
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.
What is an army member's top drink?
WARter.
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer; the other's just a watermelon. 😁😁
Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.