ANS jokes
What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!
PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?
SANS: What?
PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!
SANS: Good one.
If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.
What is the difference between Putin and an onion?
Nobody cries because of a cut Putin.
Why is LeBron James an orphan?
Because he doesn't use WhatsApp.
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
Why is it bad to climb a tree?
You might fall on an orphan! 🫥
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.
What does a foreigner say when he comes to America?
I don't know, I don't speak foreignish...
Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology.
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
Why did Rhydon get an orphan...
Rhydon deez nuts!
What are an orphan's favorite shoes?
White Vans.
What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?
“My Mommy Comes Back”
Yo mama so stupid... she stared at an orange juice carton because it said, "CONCENTRATE!"
What do an orphan's parents and Nemo have in common?
They both can't be found.
What movie does an orphan hate?
- No Way Home.
What does an orphan call a family portrait?
A selfie.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."