ANS jokes
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family picture.
What do you say to an emo's wrist?...
"I like ur cut G."
I wish I could follow you, though.
But you need an account so I could follow you, but you don't have one. :'(
What is an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Dad jokes.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling onions!
What do you call an Asian man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist fuck!
This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."
An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...
What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?
Apples get picked.
How do you get an emo kid out of a tree? Cut the rope.
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.
Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.
I'm an orphan, so kidnap me.
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."
What is the difference between a condom and an orphan?
One of them is used.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.