ANS jokes
My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"
I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."
He asked, "In an orphanage?"
A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"
The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
The man said, "Your parents."
Your forehead is so big, you got an eight-head.
True Story
A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out, "He doesn't love me anymore!"
The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis.' The officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
Like this if you laughed.
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!
An emo tried to high-five a tree.
It left him hanging.
What is a show an orphan will never be able to relate to?
"Full House".
I would try to stop rapists, but force would be an option for it.
If an orphan has a nightmare, they should run to their parents. Oh wait!
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
What is an emo's least favorite game? Fruit Ninja.
What do you do when you are angry with an orphan? Hit them.
It's not like they can tell their parents.
What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple tray?
The apples get picked.
Why is the orphan cold?
'Cause there's no one to cuddle with.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
What do you call an Arab flying a plane?
A pilot.
You racist fuck!
What do you call an Arab and a black man flying a plane?
Pilots. You racist f*ck.
How do you get 1000 followers?
Walk into an African village with a water bottle.