ANS jokes
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I made an orphan website. It does not have a home page.
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?
Organ harvesting.
The Lenovo computers at school stopped working.
They had to call an archeologist.
Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."
Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.
What is an orphan's least favorite snack?
"Dots HOMESTYLE Pretzels!"
Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
"Spider-Man: Homecoming"
My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.
Why can't an orphan go to school? He needs a parent admission form to get in.
In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.
You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.
What is an orphan’s favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me!
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."
I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What's the difference between Kanye West and an orphan?
Kanye West has parents.
What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?
A misfit.
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”