ANS jokes
An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”
The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"
I was going to tell an Asian joke, but it's too Wong.
If an orphan was an animal, it would be an owl because they don't know "WHOOO" their parents are.
Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her.
Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the Hunger Games 'cause she thought it was an eating competition.
Yo mama is so ugly when Santa Claus saw her, he yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t!"
Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
What do you call an emo dating another emo?
The suicide duo.
How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?
It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.
Why do orphans like emos?
Reverse "emo" and put an "h" in the beginning.
Sonic says: If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Me: "What are you doing??"
Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"
Me: "I don't know."
Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"
Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.
What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?
Stuart Little got chosen!
What’s the only other advantage of being an orphan?
The teacher can’t give you homework.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show?
Family Guy.
There was a kid sitting in a corner.
Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"
Orphan: "..."
Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
A white dude walks up to a Muslim and says, "So you're an Indian?" and the Muslim says, "No brotha, I'm not 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11."
Asian kid: I’m not a doctor, and I’m not good at math.
Me: That’s what I call an orphan!
What do you say when an emo cuts themself?
"Like your cut, G."