ANS jokes
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
What's the best competition to do with an orphan?
Which orphan had their parent for the longest?
What type of jokes do you tell an orphan?
Family jokes.
What do you get when you put a vest on an alligator?
An investigator!
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her
Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture of themself?
A family photo.
I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?
Answer: They both hang.
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
Why can you hit an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!
What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?
An arti-“choke”!
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?
One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.
What’s the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
Pikachu, I choose you!
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
Why can you hit an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.