ANS jokes

One time I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage!

Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.

How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.

Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.

Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.

Kidnapper: ...

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One gets picked, and the other doesn’t.

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

I have an EpiPen.

My friend gave it to me while he was dying.

It seemed really important to him that I have it.

So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.

My dad starts laughing at me.

Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”

Me: “Why dad?”

Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”

If you’re having a bad day, just punch an orphan.

Who are they going to tell? Their parents?

What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?

The chicken is actually used for something.