hi Andrew this is nick
god creating cats GOD:make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of ANGEL:ok.......................................anything else GOD:YES PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!
what did the angel say when it went to heaven? well halo there!
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to burry them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat though.”
God:(creating elephants) Make it big Angel:How big? God:As big as my d- Angel: Whoa God:Fine 10 feet tall Angel: That's big bu- God: Put a long thing on it's face
I don't have luck with other angels.
So I just WING IT!
Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "you forgot the remote"
yo mama so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's
why did gram-pa pass out because of diebetes
you want to her a cheezy pizza joke-never mind its to cheezy hehehehehe
Three men are outside Heaven's gates waiting to be go to through Heaven. The angel at the gate tells them "Depending on the length of time and your faithfulness to your last partner decides your way across the bridge to Heaven".
The first guy says "I was with my wife for 5 years and cheated 3 times". The angel gives him an old model pick up, the second guy says "11 years and only once" and is granted a Mercedes.
The last man says "20 years and not once , I loved her with all my heart" and with the angel impressed he gets a gold edition Lamborghini and sets off ahead of the other two men. Hours later the two men catch up to him crying behind the wheel and one says " I know we are dead but it could be much worse".
The guy looks up and says "How! I just went past my wife on a skateboard"
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven? A: Where's the holy baby?
My mom's name is Angel and she is nothing like one:) Especially in bed...
[god creating Asians] “aliright and the design is finished, see our new model the Asian. It has no hair at all”. Angel asks “does it eat normal food”?, god replies, “ (chuckling) oh no not at all.
God: “Steven join us” *sees the staircase to heaven* Steven: “shit”
[God creating bees] God: putt a needel on their butt Angel: come on god wha- God: make its puke delicious Angel: wtf
[God creating spiders] God: make it have 8 legs Angel: ok? bit excessive but ok God: and 8 eyes Angel: You need to calm down and li- God: give it a butt rope
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear
I hope there is a lift to heaven ❤️ I shouldn’t be making jokes tho ❤️😩
why does stephen hawking have the voice of an angel... because on one has ever heard an angel talk.
